Am I a PhD candidate..?

Yesterday I attend a half part of an event called “PhD event”. It seems that most of PhD candidate in TUD attend that event. Previously I just interested in the “free lunch” part. But, my husband asked to attend the lecture also. And unfortunately I don’t even get the lunch either, hiks, since at the same time I realized that I have to prepared the food for my group lunch meeting. What a day..hiks..:(

OK, I’m glad I found the lecture was interesting. At least it didn’t makes me sleep. Specially the lecture from former TNO president. He’s an old man (born 1939) but still productive and impressive. His name is Jan Dekker, MSc. He is President of Royal Institute of Engineers in the Netherlands. He present the lecture without a note nor presentation slides. But his lecture was still very interesting. How he can do that? I think I will never have confidence to speak in front of hundreds people like that without notes or presentation slides. Don’t mention hundred peoples, i think i don’t even have confidence to do presentation in front of my group…huaaa…:((

His presentation also remind me to something important. Why I decided to take a PhD course? I think I need to revise my motivation because honestly I decided to take PhD course because my future husband (now my husband) is taking a PhD course in Delft. So, since I don’t want to be left at home everyday, I consider an activity which will make me a lil bit busy and of course earn some money..hehe. I apply several PhD position and luckily the only position that accept me is in the same university as my husband’s. I think it’s good, so I take the chance.

My reason was nothing to do with academic reason nor scientific reason. Not like everybody else, hiks. I think that’s why until now I haven’t got my research passion yet. I’m lazy to read journals, paper and books. I take the class to escape for a while from my office, but unfortunately the lecturer asked me to take the exam also..huhu…a punishment..:(

SO, I should change my motivation. Hmm…I’ve changed now. But I will not write it here. I’ll keep it for myself.

Then, Jan also have a speech about what will you do after become a Doctor. Ooops, I haven’t think about it. Should I join a company, back to university or doing research somewhere in the world (as postdoct)? I don’t know. Work world seems scary for me. I’ve bad memory about it, when I’m struggling to get a job after my undergraduate. All the applications, test, interviews, rejections makes me down and stress. I even asked and lil bit angry to God, please forgive me God, that time. But finally He gave me answers to all my question. I never stop to thank God. Amiiin. And now I realize maybe that day will come again in next three or four years. It’s not too long right? I’m going to panic…huaaa…

But I think I will focused on what will happen today. I’m not the person who can make such a long time planning. I’m a datelined girl. I will make my future planning step by step. I believe God will always give the best way for everybody who keep praying and try to do their best.

So my nearest plan are do my best in the exam and read my bundle journals. Wish me luck..!!!

PS: I lost my PhD comic application in my FB page, does anybody know why? need it to cheer up my day..;)

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5 thoughts on “Am I a PhD candidate..?

  1. pitaaa coba apply pdeng aja hehehe..
    cuma 2 thn, gak fokus ke riset ala phd (creating new theories) melainkan riset aplikatif (applying new theories), kuliah2, proyek2 kecil..
    jadi kamu bakal ngerti gimana dunia kerja..
    dan most importantly, dikasih program professional development. penting banget buat kamu belajar mengembangkan dirimu say.. utk jadi org yg lebih pedean menghadapi dunia kerja 🙂
    gud lak!

  2. hehe..mba aku dah apply PDEng dulu, ditolak, katanya basic ku ga kuat di mata kuliah-2 tertentu terutama yang engineering. coz yang bidang kimia ya cuma biokim dan design process engineer, so bener-2 engineer sih emang. trus kalo yang bio, aku ga apply karena basic bioku juga ga kuat…so sebenarnya basic apa ku sih yang kuat…hehe…aku juga bingung..ga da yang kuat 😛

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